As I await houseguest, I started to notice a few things.
1. I’m living like a weird hermit in the master suite. It’s probably a good thing I never moved that mini fridge in the garage in here. With the house empty, literally empty with no furniture, I haven’t ventured out of the suite much.
2. Man, I’m lonely. I go days without seeing other humans. When I do it is something house related, not social.
That’s why not getting to go to Charleston this weekend was so heartbreaking. Even more, I was going to have a party that I cancelled at the chance of Charleston. Work would have brought me to Charleston, but fun would have kept through the weekend. Another time.
Eventually, I’ll find a rhythm again. The loss of my grandmother, my family just in general, the return to Kentucky, pausing the adventure…it all has to settle.
Writing as healing as it can be, it can go where you don’t want it to go. You can’t avoid it though. The words rattle around in your head, compose themselves in your sleep, on the edges of your thoughts. There isn’t rest until it’s gone. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to get this last article out. Everything else had to move out of the way.
I’m just emotionally spent. Word exhausted. Thrilled to have company, to do normal things like talk to a human in person for more than 5 minutes not about flooring. And oh my God, we’ll go out to eat at a restaurant! Maybe a movie. Human interaction. Ah, I can’t wait.