The blogger in me that I’m trying to nourish says to keep on schedule. The marketer in me knows you’ve all joined me as road warriors for the holiday and aren’t paying attention this Thanksgiving Eve.
In the last 6 weeks I’ve covered a lot of highway, 5 states to be exact. The Florida round up will come, just a delay for the holiday. I’ve returned to Charleston for a short 72 hrs. I’ve been grappling with my emotions. It wasn’t that long ago I was a Hallmark movie counting down the days until I got to go home. This last holiday destroyed that for me. With that in mind, I was curious as to what my return to Charleston would mean to me.
While on the road, each town I visited I’ve asked myself if this could be my new home. Nowhere has stirred that within me. Returning to Charleston, I was hopeful. There hasn’t been the excitement of coming home yet. Even though my heart hasn’t fluttered, I’ve missed it here. This is the place that I love. I’ve found myself purposely letting myself get lost in my town. This is my community. Even now I find it difficult to put into words, what is just shy of saying this is my home?
Maybe I was hoping to have the curves of Park Cirlce call to me, that this is my home. The ducks at the pond should call out to me. My heart still hurts and being here reminds me of it with every neighbor I see, every hug I receive. There’s the comfort of knowing that this is where I’ve belonged that is sharpened by my heart’s betrayal of not crying out “this is my home.” Each time that I’m baffled it has only been 6 weeks, my gypsy soul reminds me that that just isn’t long enough to fix my heart that hurts.
I’ve promised an update for my week in Florida and you’ll get it. We’re pushing the schedule back. Wednesday will be Friday, Friday will be Saturday. What I’ve experienced makes for blog worthy content I know you’ll enjoy. I’m just not commercialized enough yet to tell you about where I’ve been when my present is weighing so heavily on me.
Enjoy this time you have with the ones you love. I’ll be alright, I’ve still got 48 hrs to embrace the past I’ve left behind for a life on the unknown. There’s more to explore before I come back. Tonight I’m contemplating where home is to me. Coming back hasn’t been the warm fuzzies I’ve hoped for. There’s no where else I could see me returning to, but who knows. Adventure awaits.