One Week Later: This Still Sucks

Tonight will make a week. I’m functioning, mostly. KLA encouraged me to try to shower, leave the house, and put in a bra. Luckily, she doesn’t seem to think I need to ween myself off sleep aids, sleeping, crying, or bourbon so it’s been a good healing environment. Let’s get honest here people, last week was hard for lots of things overall. Things in general have not exactly gone as plan. And if we’re really going to get technical, I’m fracking homeless. Man, there was another F word I really wanted to use there. I just don’t have the konugas to put that in print. 

So what the hell am I going to do? GOOD QUESTION. I don’t know. These are the moments of “why not? Let’s see where this takes me” that usually…you know what, I’ll just let us all see how this pans out instead of giving some probably excellent learning examples from my past. 

If we’re social media friends you’ll know that last night I interacted with other people. I know! Both people in real life and online. In fact, I interacted with a lot of people. Baby steps guys, baby steps. 

Some of the interactions weren’t so fun though. I would be specifically talking about the ones involving lectures of impulsiveness, running away, irresponsibility, etc. In response to that, I’m going to channel my all time favorite KLA pep talk “The Muffy I Know…” for some confidence & inspiration: let me just tell you, if you are the least bit shocked or surprised that when it all crumpled I decided to go explore more options, you don’t know me at all. Not only am I the most resilient person KLA knows, I have had my moments of fearlessness. Starting over or starting somewhere fresh is not a new concept. Hell, 5 years ago I rolled into Charleston with a hula hoop strapped to the trunk asking if I could borrow an air mattress from someone since my mattress flew off the roof of the car. And look at me now! Homeless and without a hula hoop! 

I kid. I’ve done well in Charleston just like I’ve done well in all the places before and I hope to in all the places after. This should all make for more interesting blog posts. How many of you really wanted to hear about electrical panels and wiring of 200sq ft? It would have been mostly for the photos and outtakes. On a responsible note, it isn’t like I can’t write press releases and do social media from anywhere I go. In a way, this might be the most responsible starting over to date. 

Funny, right this moment as I’m writing this, Julie Daniels tagged me in a video. 

Create a New Ending
I feel exactly the same way. When I was being lectured on what would I even doing in Arizona, I responded with “see the Grand Canyon? I’ve never been.” Think of all the things I could experience that I’ve never done. 

Someone asked to host a going away party for me. Last night I told KLA about it, she of course thought it was a fabulous idea and that I should let bunches of people throw me tons of parties. “But what if I come back?” I asked her. 

Just because I want to leave for now doesn’t mean that I have to leave forever. It’s just that here is not right for me right now. I must admit that I’ve stared over and tried things new many times, this is the first time that I ever said that it could be just for now. 

Can I just call this a sabbatical?

Let’s go back to the map and last night. 

I went to a truck stop and got a real map. Next I got some sticky arrows. I started laying outstickies of everywhere I had someone who would like to see my red eyes and puffy face. Who else wants a visit? The arrows started filling up. Last check this morning, there are only a couple of square states missing like Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, as well as a few states that probably have pretty awesome roadside attractions like Idaho. There were two requests for me to get a world map. World maps just take whole lot more responsibility or me completely throwing all responsibilities out the window. We aren’t there yet. 

In true Muffy form, I’ve made a plan then changed it 97 times. I think I want to end up in Miami then Arizona seems like an even better idea than it did the day before. As of now, Florida first. When I couldn’t handle anymore snow, it was between Charleston and the Keys. Letting the runner up have a chance could be the way to go, except I keep hearing that country song telling me to go West. Every time another sticky went on the map I thought about how that was somewhere else I’ve never really been. 

The Chef flew back to Cali Monday. He text me from the plane, I wouldn’t believe what the inflight magazine’s main article was on.  Those are my mermaids! Even if I could jump the waiting list for mermaid camp, I still can’t rationalize the almost $1,000 cost. I’ll visit the mermaids and the springs. I’m going to swim with the manatees. Take my amazing Itty Bitty to find us a hippo named Lily. No, really guys, she’s amazing. Check out how my Itty Bitty has a heart that’s ginormous and this kiddo is only 8. Itty Bitty has been raising money for Hurricane Matthew victims. Bay News 9 did an article then CNN and she’s just doing great things all over. Donate to help her cause here.

Is it weird I want to go to Harry Potter World? Can a grownup go there by themselves? I’m hoping Erin will make me some cupcakes for my long drive down to Miami where I’ve got a Muffette I can’t wait to hug and some Cubans who promised me cigars, boats, and motorcycles. 

There’s another big factor in Florida first, it’s the least dog friendly portion of my trip. I think I’m ready to start thinking about some paw prints on my heart. No rescue is going to let me adopt if I’m bopping around. 

Meet Amazing Gracie, she’s in Wisconsin.

I even talked to some folks at a rescue in California this morning. While I don’t know if these pups are right for me, it’s time to be open to it. Y’all all keep your eyes open. I need a tiny female who doesn’t really shed. Think terrier or poodle mix. Though I would love to adopt an older dog, I want to think longevity so something younger. There’s a lot of rescues and shelters out there. Somewhere some pup has to be waiting for me. 

Details still have to be worked out, timelines, and more plans that I’ll change but if the LaSala family still wants me I’m going to make my way out after Thanksgiving. 

Lipnos, let’s get snowed in and maybe we can talk Denton into blowing up a snowman again. Last time I was in Cleveland, I slept in the parking garage of the Rock n’Roll Hall of Fame meaning this trip doesn’t have high expectations. Claire, do they even serve yogurt in Chicago when it is cold? Will it blow right out of my hand? 

From Chicago I can fly to Vace the Face in Seattle for $132 at the most $247. From Seattle I can fly to California for $59 and take Amtrak’s Pacific Surfliner up and down Southern California for $159. The Chef is still out there and I bet I could lure him into a weekend in Vegas. 

Amanda tells me I can take the train from Tucson to the Grand Canyon where they even have a train robber! Matt told me he already started checking the job board at work. Wouldn’t it be super awesome if I worked in a library? Not quite as awesome as me giving this whole blogging thing a real go, but this looks like the chance to really do that. See what I’m talking about? All spontaneous fun and change of plans? Who knew I even wanted to do that? Probably me somewhere deep down. If I ever really wanted a shot at writing a book, this looks like how it’s done these days. 

Both paths will take me through Bama and Kentucky for any goodbyes I need to do in person. I think this is the plan that sticks. After all, all the stickies do line up.