Day 27 of WTH Am I Doing:

Let’s talk about the not fun stuff. I spend an obscene amount of my time crying. Sometimes it’s the obvious like getting a huge splinter when I braced myself from stepping on a missing portion of the floor or from an overall meltdown fueled by exhaustion when wondering really wth am I doing with my life? There’s been a surprisingly amount of crying from texts of people informing how terrible a friend I am being. I get it. I’m being incredibly self centered, I’ve already covered that (see Day 21). Mostly, I end up crying because it’s really hard trying to hear the beat of your own drum when people are trying to drown it out with criticism. In no way do I think what I’m doing is for everyone else. Hell, it probably isn’t even for anyone else. That’s just it though, this is for me. This is me doing what I need to do and making the sacrifices I need to in order to get where I want to be. Some of the sacrifices are short term like splinters and washing my hair after dark with a garden hose. Some of them a little longer term like square footage, belongings, and sadly a few friends. This isn’t all a fun adventure. Words hurt just as much as splinters. Now, if you’ll excuse me, the sun has gone down and I need to wash my hair.