- Bless Noah’s sweet little heart. Obviously, I’m awake. This evening I’ve been contemplating how one goes about finding the black market, surely, that’s where all the J.Crew wedding dressing have gone which led me down a rabbit hole to find out what happened to their line with a short detour to think about how good that super shady taco stand was back in Lexington that I used to love and how I had thought it was just elusive since it only came out at night when really it was probably because they didn’t send health inspectors out at night and gosh I’d kill for one of their tacos, but oh yeah, someone did get stabbed there and that’s why I stopped going. And typically Noah is at work right now so he regularly would not have been in the living room at the desk during my usual random roaming to turn off the lamps he has on in the mornings since it is dark when he goes to work except he is home today and while that was good because I had him smell the turkey meat because it looked slimy, which note to self, doesn’t matter because I realized I don’t like that kind anyways, thus the hunt for whatever kind of turkey sandwich meat I do like continues, which then made me think of those tacos again and how really unsafe it probably was for me to go there all those times alone, late at night and that made me wonder if maybe I actually could handle some seedy drug buy like transaction with some underground J.Crew bridal dealer, which, I mean really we know one has to exist. And while it was helpful for him to check the turkey for me and agree with me with obvious fake outrage on my behalf of whatever it was that I was mad about when I was in the kitchen, I went back to my room to try to remember what did make me fussy and can’t which did make me remember that I’m still hot over those tacos and J.Crew’s bridal line where every gown had pockets! So obviously I needed to learn what did happen to their bridal division and that lead me to compose several drafts of an angry email where I didn’t have to pretend to be outraged or appalled at their explanation that they would expand their party collection to fill the gap shuttering the bridal line left, which, obviously, lies. And another thing! Don’t think my love of all that crisp, preppy navy blue is going to make me forgive and forget that even though they make clothing up to XXL they don’t carry them in their stores, that they do carry XXS in store a plenty, but while that frustration is real, I was actually bluffing because I can’t resist some pearls and a little clover green freshness in my wardrobe even though they’re not being fair and by the time I came around to realizing how much I care whoever gets the emails for email@example.com would probably definitely not care even the slightest that I drafted and talked out that email with myself seven times before sending it so, naturally, I deleted the email and moved on to recounting every time I have gone through the same conversation with people: no, I haven’t looked at J.Crew for a wedding dress because they don’t carry them anymore and no, I don’t know when they stopped except now I do know why and when so that cancels out my usual quip of “probably right about the time I decided to get married.” And all that is why it is going to super suck for Noah until I can definitively confirm where Noah was in relation to my life when J.Crew did make the decision. As of right now the timing of the press release leads me to believe the correct answer would have been dating me and we all know how that has turned out. So essentially, that’s how I spend my insomnia and yes, I really am that exhausting all the time and no, I do not know how I am not just tiring myself out. But I do know Noah has probably obviously been the demise and ruin of my wedding dress.
Oh! And I just remembered what it was in the kitchen that made me angry and I forgot causing all the redirection of my crabbiness. 24hr Chinese food. How is it there really aren’t egg rolls available or and fresh at any given time of the day.